I'm Out of Fondness.
i'm out of fondness
i'm out of respect
i'm out of persistence
these feelings are void from my chest
a cavity where they once rested is thrashed
no flesh
no bone
only a dark pit where a heart used to be
i should feel anger
any shred would be just and yet
nothing
how can one love and hate simultaneously?
how can i be ensnared by your image
long so desperately for your warmth
and still have nothing
but cold bitterness
for you
for everything
for the circumstances that led this to be
for the time i invested
to no avail of course
and most of all for myself
for being so blind
i feel nothing but remorse for the months i took to rearrange my life
to let you in unimpeded by those that wished to impede
if only i knew in those months
you were turning away from me
the love you felt withering away
leaving me to swing open the door i had shut for those months
filled with joy for the love waiting for me
only to be met with an icy tundra
devoid of heart
soul
and the courage to release me from my chains i so ignorantly bound to you
