I'm Out of Fondness.

i'm out of fondness

i'm out of respect

i'm out of persistence

these feelings are void from my chest

a cavity where they once rested is thrashed

no flesh

no bone

only a dark pit where a heart used to be

i should feel anger

any shred would be just and yet

nothing

how can one love and hate simultaneously?

how can i be ensnared by your image

long so desperately for your warmth

and still have nothing

but cold bitterness

for you

for everything

for the circumstances that led this to be

for the time i invested

to no avail of course

and most of all for myself

for being so blind

i feel nothing but remorse for the months i took to rearrange my life

to let you in unimpeded by those that wished to impede

if only i knew in those months

you were turning away from me

the love you felt withering away

leaving me to swing open the door i had shut for those months

filled with joy for the love waiting for me

only to be met with an icy tundra

devoid of heart

soul

and the courage to release me from my chains i so ignorantly bound to you